The following is a very important perspective for me to be reminded of. This comes from Pema Chodron, a North American born Tibetan Buddhist nun who's book "When Things Fall Apart" came into my life when I first got sober. It was invaluable in bringing me centeredness in the chaos created by my addictions. I was blessed to hear her in person a few months ago.
Trusting Our Inherent Wisdom by Pema Chodron
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When we feel discouraged or have any emotional distress - what happens next? Usually we try the same old thing to get more comfortable and therefore keep digging the hole deeper. This is called habituation - the more we run the old pattern, the more it hooks us, and the more it hooks us, the more we run it. For humans and animals, this is usually what happens.
The first thing to remember is "emotional distress happens." We all experience the hook of discomfort and try to do something to get away from it. Let's just call it shenpa, kind of one term fits all. Let us just say, "shenpa happens". You feel this quality of experience - shenpa, hooked. It's just things as they are, a quality of experience. It happens, But it doesn't end there. Then there is the momentum or the storyline and it sweeps us away.
Sentient beings like you and I all over the earth from beginningless time have equated following the momentum with comfort. Of course we get short term relief. However, if you want to examine your own style, follow the momentum with mindfulness and see if it makes you comfortable or makes you uncomfortable.
Buddha's teaching is that following the momentum will not bring happiness. But it is important to experience the hooked quality and taste the bad taste of hooked which we now associate with comfort. This is more an experience in our gut. (It is not intellectual.) Gradually we can begin to see that following the momentum does not bring comfort, it brings suffering.
A question we can ask ourselves is, are we strengthening habits that keep us hooked or not? It is important to not ignore being hooked. It is important to not follow the momentum. Following it makes things worse. If we have an addiction, we know that at some point we just can't buy the storyline any longer (just one one last sip!) It's the same as talking to yourself in negative ways. We keep ourselves hooked.
Find out for yourself. Give yourself five years. Can you yourself experience that it is always about ego telling you to follow the momentum and not stay present? But what discovers that following the momentum will lead to more unhappiness? What is that? That is our natural inherent wisdom. This natural wisdom is not dedicated to self absorption, but dedicated to true liberation. It is called wisdom of Buddha-nature. It is a natural intelligence that we all have. As we practice more, this natural intelligence of Buddha nature will manifest more. It will guide us toward sowing seeds of kindness. Rather than confusion, we begin to trust our own wisdom guide.
©2003 by Pema Chodron. All Rights Reserved.
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